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(no subject) [May. 5th, 2005|08:39 pm]
so i feel like a compleeete asshole right now. i hate prom and everything about it cuz im a complete screw up that cant make up her mind. what a dumbn asss i am..i promised i would go with sarah and then i just decidedthat i didnt want to togo....now shes angry at me and i feel soo bad about it. she was realyl wantingtp go cuzits her senior wyear and all and then waht do i do....fuck it up. i almost fuck everything up for everyone., i know that i have to make decisions for myself but i always care what people think...thatas just me..well happy cinco de mayo...im celebratein right now so i bettter get back to it....im really sorry sarah if you read this. i hope you wont be mad at me forever....:(
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(no subject) [Apr. 4th, 2005|12:08 pm]
Ever since friday i havent been feeling well. i kind of brushed it off thinking it would go away. but yesterday it got really bad. i started having coughing attacks, a fever, sore muscles everywhere, and massive headaches. and it still hasnt gone away. i didnt have to go to school today which was ok i guess but i was sad cuz yesterday when breanna brought me ice cream, jones juice, and m&m's (shes such a sweetie, i love her) she told me i had to come to school so she wouldnt have to be left all alone with crazy gross conversations from our crazy friends. So when i wasnt there today, her evan and jessika called to yell at me for being sick and not being there. haha i love them. i just hope i get better soon, i hate being sick like this. excited- i got pictures taken with me breanna kaylee i think sara and alyssa. i hope i dont look bad in them though. we went to a dance on friday night (lamest thing ive ever been to) and i let kaylee do my make-up. it was really cute...i just couldnt go into the light or i looked really gross, to myself anyways lol. well its time to get back to my couch haha.
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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2005|05:03 pm]
first day of a new semester, so far i dont really have any complaints. im happy i have two classes with carlos though. i dont feel good at all right now..i just want to curl up and sleep for a while..but i have dance at 7 so i cant. sucky. i miss someone special sooooo bad right now..i want to see him. i wish my mom/parents would stop being so dumb and let me have a chance with him. i want it that badly and it means that much to me. i dont want to let someone that wonderful slip past me and then me live with regrets, i couldnt stand it. bahhh...i better see him tomorrow...lol. i feel a little bit better than i did a week ago, my friend ashley is doing better and her moms actually letting her out of the house to see me. i just hope things stay ok for her.. sleep time
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(no subject) [Jan. 15th, 2005|09:47 pm]
what are supose to do when you hear of a friend having a bad situation at home that involves a crazy mom and step dad,her getting threatened and her mom saying she should of had an abortion when she found she was pregnant with her? she doesnt deserve this right now...i really hate her mom even more now..ughhhh i hate life right now, wayy to much stress for me to handle. happy isnt in my vocabulary. i want something i cant have right now, i got forced into giving someone a second chance and he fucked it up as to be expected. almost completely lost any relationship with my mom..and to top it off, finals stress..what more could there be? i dont want any of this right now.
the end
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(no subject) [Oct. 26th, 2004|05:48 pm]
today was a really good day...i was happy and excited all day for no reason. i have a new crush, but i dotn know how well its going to work or not. just have to wait and see! hehe. im so happy today. i love it <3
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(no subject) [Oct. 3rd, 2004|05:50 pm]
....its amazing what turns life introduces to you....
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(no subject) [Sep. 19th, 2004|07:35 pm]
im talking to sawrah on the phone. yeaaeh shes awesome. and she can be a nerrd with me cuz nerds rule <3
NERDS 4 LIFE!!
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(no subject) [Aug. 25th, 2004|02:26 pm]
great..right before we leave my parents have to fight again. i swear sumtimes they hate eachother...are they ever going to be happy..? it just makes life oh so much more fun to live with them god.
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(no subject) [Aug. 18th, 2004|09:25 am]
waking up early to go work out isnt exactly my cup of tea
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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2004|09:18 pm]
how come right when your about to end something or youve decided to walk away, they always end up doing something sweet to change your mind. they always have a knack for calling right when you decide you cant take it anymore. i wish things could work themselves out...<3
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(no subject) [Jul. 16th, 2004|01:12 pm]
show tonight at the graceland.
Emery
Copeland
Loved in Minnesota
and some other band lol.
sooo excited.
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(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2004|01:00 pm]
yea, i almost died this morning lol. it sucked. I almost collapsed on the floor but my cry for help saved me.
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(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2004|12:19 am]
i bought another bjork cd today, soo happy. too tired to write about my exciting life..maybe later heh.
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(no subject) [Jun. 30th, 2004|12:14 am]
[music |underoath]

Have you ever had one of those days where you hate everything about yourself. The way you look, who you are, the way you act. I havent had a day like this in probably a year. You cant make it stop. I dont know why i feel like this today. It just makes me want to hide so no one has to see what i see...
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(no subject) [Jun. 24th, 2004|11:44 pm]
i hate being inbetween happy and sad. i try to have a good time...but then i think about things and get sad again..i cant wait until i have my answer then i can either get over it or be happy. no back and forth.
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(no subject) [Jun. 23rd, 2004|10:34 pm]
*I hate feeling unwanted and unloved*
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2004|06:29 pm]
[music |the strokes]

took the math section of the stupid wassle today. not fun at all considering how bad i am at math. but oh well i already know i failed heh. i swear if i dont get a lot of sleep soon, the black circles under my eyes are gunna be ginormousss. yuck
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(no subject) [Apr. 18th, 2004|08:56 pm]
[music |lost in translation soundtrack]

Recap of my spring break:
FRIDAY- kassi spent the night and her friend alex and slovic came over. watched movies, hung out, went in hot tub. fun stuff only not for kassi...
SATURDAY-hehe..yea this was a fun night.
SUNDAY- got a happy easter call, went to see my grandma. she didnt know who i was only that i was a pretty girl. had brunch with my family then i watched the Stanley Cup Playoffs all day.
MONDAY- went to the strokes concert with my brother, kyle, kassi, nona, and kelsi (kyles sister). On our way there we got in a car accident. Kyle told my brother to look at some kid on the street wearing a funny helmey and looked away for a second then ended up hitting the truck infront of us. No one got hurt tho. went to the concert, the ravonettes opened for them. i didnt have ear plugs for the ravonettes tho and we were standing in front of 12 huge speakers, i almost went deaf i swear lol. but kyles sister helped me make paper plugs. then after the concert we all walked around trying to find someplace to eat but ended up going back to kyles house. Kassi and i went with kelsi and nona; we went rallying in the high school parking lot soo fun.
TUESDAY- kassi came over again, went in the hot tub with friends. had a great time..
WEDNESDAY- hung out with kassi again
THURSDAY- went to the mall with ashley skip, she spent the night. for once i got to see what i felt like to sit on the couch for 3 hours while she talked online, usually its the other way around. heh heh.
FRIDAY- ashley and kassi were around for most of the morning, then kassi left. me ashley and my mom went to victoria's secret to get me 4 pairs of really neat see through colorful underwear. made my day thats for sure.
SATURDAY- went to the fair with ashley burdette and got to see one realllly crappy band at the Battle of the Bands. I was sad i had to miss the one band that had all the really pretty looking vintage boys. but thats life.
SUNDAY-cleaned out my closet, read The Old Man and the Sea, ashley b. came over to give me back my books, wrap, and some running shoes.
Now im just trying to finish up any loose ends for hw i have. my weeks been fun and i have no complaints.
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(no subject) [Apr. 16th, 2004|08:24 pm]
Lifes hectic
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(no subject) [Apr. 2nd, 2004|04:46 pm]
[music |the bled]

first time ive been on a computer in 8 days. the whole getting in trouble thing wasnt so bad. only lasted 5 days. i dont know whats wrong with me right now. i feel so edgy. i fight with my family all the time now. even though i dont have much to do at school, only two classes really, i am stressed out. i feel like i just cant understand anything right now. i wish boys and me could be simple, that i didnt have to worry and everything would be fine. i get irritated with people sumtimes too easily. i got told again that i am a very mono tone person which i agree, which makes me not normal. when everyones all happy bout sumthin, im just like oh yea, thats cool. i cant remember things people say to me after they say them usually. i was talking to my mom and all i had to say to her was what? shes all like "is there sumthing wrong with you? have you been doing drugs or sumthing? i think you need to get help." thing is, i dont know whats wrong with me, i dont know why i cant remember things or why im really slow. its just the way it is..heh. i fought with my mom before i went to bed, i talked/argued with her in the car this morning, had a great day, then got back in the car after school and started fighting again. i dont know if its me or me when im around my family, but sumthings not right. i need a break from everything right now. i just want things to be good again. sarah might be coming over tonight, and ashleys comming to visit for a lil while. but i really want to get out of my house. i cant go anywhere with mary or kassi, they have to come here so that doesnt work. i just need someone...
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